Mummy's not your Buddy
Photo Source: AAP
"Good to see you're not on holidays this year."
The alleged sledge GWS ruckman Shane Mumford threw at Sydney's Lance Franklin during their qualifying final last weekend. Mumford apologised on the Tuesday following the match.
"If you can get someone sucked in to stuff like that, then that is part of your arsenal. If there's anything to answer for that, then the game has absolutely lost its mind."
But former Western Bulldogs player and current commentator Luke Darcy insisted Mumford had done nothing wrong.
"Everyone thinks I’m always causing trouble, disrespectful ... all that sort of stuff. But I’m really not."
As the Davis Cup approached this week, Nick Kyrgios took the opportunity to defend himself.
"I've really enjoyed it and it's something I'm really good at. I've hardly lost any matches at it so I'm enjoying the moment to be here this week and I hope I can win some more matches."
Bernard Tomic kept up the recent tradition, driven a lot by braggards like Roger Federer, of tennis players not bothering about silly, antiquated concepts like humility.
"My point is Peter, don’t get all too chirpy just yet, mate. You haven’t done anything mate, you got flogged in the last two rounds and you got the AFL giving you $1.5 million to install the bloke for three years to dig you out of the crap."
Collingwood president Eddie McGuire fired back at Melbourne CEO Peter Jackson, who suggested the Magpies might have got their coaching handover wrong in the same week the Demons announced Simon Goodwin as coach to succeed Paul Roos.
"He came over and gave me a hug and we both cried. It was pretty emotional."
Brent Harvey revealed how he and good mate Lindsay Thomas reacted the moment Boomer found out he was being delisted.
"I'm into day 31; I've been ticking them off."
Test spinner Steve O'Keefe, who admits he loves a beer, still has a long way to go to get through his self-imposed six-month alcohol ban. He was arrested not long after returning from Sri Lanka.
"When you lose matches, there are no miracles in terms of the players’ soul."
Is Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho suggesting his team might have taken their opening Europa League group game loss to Dutch club Feyenoord quite hard?
"It definitely would have been hard for my dad to make those big choices, to get me a start. It's kind of worked out well and hopefully dad can get a coaching job in the next few weeks."
Panthers youngster Nathan Cleary knows that old tradition of parents who coach being tougher on their own kids so as to appear not to be playing favourites still holds true, and is a little happy father Ivan got the flick from Penrith at the end of the 2015 season.
"That is how I was promoting my business."
Gambling identity and former brothel owner Eddie Hayson admitted he provided NRL players and jockeys with free sex at the establishment he once owned, purely to increase business, while he also denied any involvement in match-fixing.
"He gave me a handshake and asked how it was straight away, so there's no bitterness there."
Wests Tigers star James Tedesco is a lot more forgiving than many would be. He claimed there was no bad blood between him and the man who broke his jaw a month ago, Titans forward Ryan James.
"I took a little moment on second."
Australian James Beresford had to let it all sink in after he registered a hit in his Major League Baseball debut for the Minnesota Twins. Beresford had played 1070 minor league games before finally being called up to the top level.
What was your favourite quote this week? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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