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AFL grand final wish list

Lance Franklin looms as the man to watch yet again in Hawthorn's AFL clash with Sydney.
We're hoping Buddy doesn't disappoint on the big day, but that doesn't mean we want the Swans to win.
Photo Source: AAP

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Sting makes a splash
In a classic AFL mix-up, the booking agent has got the pre-match entertainment confused. Instead of booking former Police frontman Sting, the AFL's talent agent has accidently booked former WCW pro-wrestler Sting. Taking to the stage Sting is a little confused about what he is supposed to do for his money without an opponent to work with, so he looks for a familiar face out in the crowd. Fortunately he spots former tennis star Andre Agassi, who has somehow managed to jag another invite despite yawning his way through last week's preliminary final, up with the corporate spivs. He clambers into the stands and delivers a trademark Stinger Splash and Agassi is taken away to hospital. In a rare act of generosity, the AFL heads outside the ground and gives the now vacant seat to a fan of one of the competing clubs.

Goodes gets a belated lap of honour
After opting not to partake in last year's lap of honour for retiring stars to take the heat out of the booing disgrace, the AFL extends an offer for Adam Goodes to take part in this year's parade. After a year out of the game, Goodes accepts and to the credit of the fans he is given the send-off that one of the true champions of the game deserves. The AFL is pleased with the response, but they stop short of going the full FIFA and declaring that racism is now fixed.

Nerves get the better of Libba Snr
Having never had the chance to play in a grand final himself, Tony Liberatore is wracked with nerves watching son Tom take to the big stage. Sitting in the past players section of the ground, he chews through his fingernails during a tense first quarter when he realises that player in front of him is former Sydney Swans opponent Paul Kelly. As the match progresses he finds it hard to fight back old habits as his nerves get the better of him and he starts, pinching, scratching and punching his old foe. Kelly tolerates this for a while before coming to the realisation that he doesn't have any umpires or tribunal to worry about and knocks Liberatore out cold, something he has wanted to do since 1997.

Buddy bags eight
After missing out on the finals action last year while dealing with mental health issues, Buddy is hungrier than ever after finally getting back to the big stage and puts in a classic performance, taking strong marks both on the lead and in the air and mostly dominating the contest and kicking a heap of goals. He finishes the match with eight falling just one goal short of the grand final record but levelling the feat achieved by another former Hawthorn great Dermott Brereton in the 1985 grand final, as well as drawing level with Leigh Matthews for the most goals kicked in finals (72).

Bulldogs break their drought
Aside from Sydney Swans supporters, the vast majority of neutral supporters have bought into the romance of the Bulldogs winning just their second premiership. Despite the aforementioned goal blitz from Buddy, we want to see the Dogs break what is the longest active run without tasting premiership success on Saturday afternoon. It is fitting that they break that drought against the Swans, the only club that had to wait longer than the Bulldogs and the MCG erupts when the final siren sounds.

Bob Murphy goes the full John Terry
We know this one will never happen, but if you had told us at the start of the year the Bulldogs would be playing in the grand final we would have said the same thing. In 2012, English Premier League club Chelsea won the European Champions League final with captain John Terry forced to watch from the stands as he was suspended. When it came to trophy time Terry jumped up on the podium in full Chelsea kit as though he had been a key player in the victory. We know Bob Murphy has way too much class for that, but it would be funny if he completely lost the plot in the chaos of victory and attempted something similar.

What would you like to see happen in Saturday's AFL Grand Final? Have your say in the comments section below.

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